the distraction of ourselves

the april 2023 newsletter

Hey friends,

We just got back from a weekend of ministering in Homer. What would be such a small thing for most people was a huge milestone for our family; our world has been really small for a long time and the attachment issues two of our kids are healing through can make new environments extremely precarious.

But we did it. We’re back. So far, no crazy fallout. It was amazing – healings, deliverances, moves of wholeness and worship. It was Ephesians 3:20 all over the place and not only did God move among those we were ministering to, but He also moved among us and I feel a huge shift in our family. Risk is scary but when He calls us it’s so worth it.

So let’s talk about risk, and the story of Mary and Martha. I know, you’ve probably heard this story a zillion times before and it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with risk. Let’s look again though and I’ll show you what the Lord showed me this weekend:

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching.

But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.”

But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.”

– Luke 10:38-42

Okay, good refresher? Keep it in mind for a minute.

Our home church was invited to Homer because the presence of God has been ramping up in powerful ways in our meetings since February. We’ve gathered like normal but the worship has been intense, and we’ve been staying later (often much later). The atmosphere of humility and repentance has catalyzed us and He has spoken to us repeatedly about alignment, purity, and the coming shift.

So when the church in Homer heard about this, they invited us to come down and do what we’ve been doing, and, well, rub off on them for three services. Whole families, extremely organic, involve the kids, no other agenda: Just lots of worship and personal ministry, some short teachings, and lots of praying for people who the Lord gave us words for.

And hey, I probably don’t need to tell you this, but just sitting with your own kids in your normal Sunday service can be a little distracting. But if you really want to live on the edge, take a bunch of kids to a new church, with or without special needs. I’m trying to pay attention, but I’m also checking to see if the music is making Reagan flappy, I’m glancing at my older kids to see if they seem engaged, I’m wrangling little boys to make sure they’re not too wiggly or loud or kicking anyone’s chair. I’m the one who’s distracted; I don’t want anyone else to be.

So this is where the story of Mary and Martha comes in.

During the Sunday morning service one of my friends shared this story again. We know this story: She wasn’t paying attention to Jesus, right; she was doing all the other things and she wanted help.

But then my friend asked this: Why was Martha so focused on everything else when He was already in the room? Why were all the other things more important to her than He was?

Jesus was teaching, and Martha was “distracted with much serving.” And she went up to Him...while He was still teaching? It sounds like it. Everyone else, including Mary, was sitting there, listening, minding their own business – minding His business.

And Martha came up and made a bit of a scene. In her mind, it wasn’t about what Jesus or anyone else was doing, the priority was on what she wanted. And she wanted to be a good hostess. But she missed the point when she interrupted her guest and prioritized all the other lesser things.

And as I sat in the service, this is what it made me think of: Why do we tame our kids’ wiggles during church? Well, a couple reasons. We don’t want them to distract other people. But also – and this is just as important to me, maybe too important to me – because how my kids behave is a reflection of me. Of my parenting. Of how I’ve taught and trained them.

I don’t want others to think badly of me. I want to look good. If they misbehave, it reflects back to me.

When I have friends over to my house, I want everything to be clean. Having a clean house honors my guests, but it also represents me, and I want to look good.

When we care too much about what other people think of us, we’re caring about us, not them. If my friend comes over and is talking to me while I’m fretting over the state of my dishes, I’m not honoring my friend. I’m prioritizing myself.

And I think maybe this is why Jesus corrected Martha.

She wasn’t looking at Him. She was looking at herself and how the state of the house represented her.

I’m not saying there’s something wrong with a clean house or well-behaved kids in church. Those are both very important, but here’s the deal: If they’re only a priority when other people are around, they’re not a priority at all. Those things need to be genuinely important to us whether or not people are there to notice.

And if it’s Jesus we’re hosting, nothing else should matter. There could be a naked, sword-wielding leprechaun dancing in the middle of worship, but if Jesus is there, He’s the one our eyes should be drawn to.

(If the naked, sword-wielding, dancing small person is our toddler, then yes, we address it...but not it in a way that draws even more attention away from the speaker, or the worship, or the prayer. Have you seen the lady in public who corrects her kids in a humiliating way, just so other people will notice her stellar parenting? Yeah. Cringe.)

The Lord emphasized to me that even as we went down to Homer to bless this community, we would miss the point entirely if we took our eyes off Him long enough to wonder if we were representing Him well to them. Our ministry would be nullified by navel gazing.

Do you see how slimy and subtle the enemy is? Yes, we are distracted by many things, and most of those things are what others think about us, or what they are doing, or how we compare. But what we need to be doing is looking at Him, and remembering what He thinks of us.

Peter turned and saw the disciple whom Jesus loved following them, the one who also had leaned back against him during the supper and had said, “Lord, who is it that is going to betray you?” When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!”

– John 21:20-22

Our eyes are on Him, not on what others think of us. Not on what everyone else is doing. Not even on how we represent Him. Of course we notice; of course we care. But we cannot make these things our focus at the expense of taking our eyes off Him.

This is where pride and insecurity blend together, because when we are the priority, we become both God and the devil to ourselves.

This is how one should regard us, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God. Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful. But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself. For I am not aware of anything against myself, but I am not thereby acquitted. It is the Lord who judges me.

– 1 Corinthians 4:1-4

A few weeks ago as we were talking about repentance, one of our pastors said, “Quickly, we need to get our eyes up…we are people of Presence. The Kingdom of God is within you. Did Jesus mean that? I think He did.”

And then he referred to Psalm 139 where it says, “Search me and know my heart,” and said this:

“Did you notice? The Psalmist isn’t searching their own heart, they’re asking the Lord to search them. What are we instructed to do in the New Testament? Fix your eyes on things above, not things below. So we ask God to search us, but it’s our job to search Him...don’t reverse that. Don’t go digging around yourself, because you’re gonna dig at your own soul with a little garden trowel and all you’re gonna do is bleed.”

That statement has become one of those milestone epiphanies that changed my life.

I have been far too handy with the garden trowel. Have you, too?

Taking our eyes off ourselves always involves risk. Which means that focusing our eyes on Jesus involves risk. Our focus determines whether we worship ourselves, or Him.

Do we really understand His prominence? His love for us? His protection of us?

When we worship, we risk other people judging us. When we do anything, we risk other people judging us. When people come over, we risk them noticing something we forgot to clean or tuck away. When we introduce ourselves to new people, we risk having our fly open. (Yes, yes, that also happened this weekend...sigh.) But we can trust Him. We are covered in grace, learning humility, walking in obedience, right at His feet. This is the good portion, and it will never be taken from us.

Bless you friends,

Shannon

P.S. Here are a few updates and resources for you this month:

• We’re starting The Outsiders in Gaining Ground next week! Join us here if you’d like – this is an easy one (especially after five months of Lord of the Rings), just 30 pages a week for 6 weeks.

• Want to encourage a friend, or thank someone for not wearing skinny jeans? We've got some new cards in the shop.

• How situational awareness saves lives, by Mr. Guerra. You might want to share this post with your friends, church security and staff, neighbors, etc.