Wow... even though I continually see or hear the Lord tell me things (through other people) that are very particular to my struggles or situation, this time it was very overt, to the point it shook me up a bit. I literally just got off the phone with a friend and spoke of everything you just said about the overwhelm, the discouragement etc. etc. I said, I know I need to pray, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it today.
I stopped praying a couple of days ago and even though I know what's going on and what I SHOULD do to turn it around, I am like a deer in headlights with prayer. Stuck. Not moving forward nor retreating... just frozen...except the longer I stay here, the more I become discouraged and the more I become discouraged, the more I start feeling that, "why bother with anything?" feeling. All day I've been feeling like Solomon in Ecclesiastes. I am battling things in my personal life and the world that seem to have no end and it's wearing me down and then the enemy comes along and does what he does best. The # 1 thing he always goes after first is to get me to stop praying. It's a good strategy. It's like removing that key piece in the Jenga tower. If he manages to remove it, the whole thing comes crashing down. I'm definitely teetering. It's a funny thing... fighting prayer. Even now I'm avoiding it. I know I'm in trouble when it begins to feel like dieting and exercise because when I'm seeking Him and my heart and mind are engaged with God, prayer doesn't feel like being denied a donut or doing sit ups. I long to be in His presence and prayer is a natural response to being there. So...yup, time to push through...time to pray even though right now it feels rather unnatural. By the way, I never say, "no" to donuts... like EVER. :D
Wow...one of the phrases I usually use with this is “deer in the headlights” or, more accurately (and you’ll like this one better😂) “mosquito in a nudist colony.” Because, you know...where do you begin? There’s so much need, and the enemy tries to disengage us before we even start. But for me, I’ve noticed it takes just a little effort to get back in the fight. Probably my bigger issue is actually recognizing when I’m disengaging and giving up.
Wow... even though I continually see or hear the Lord tell me things (through other people) that are very particular to my struggles or situation, this time it was very overt, to the point it shook me up a bit. I literally just got off the phone with a friend and spoke of everything you just said about the overwhelm, the discouragement etc. etc. I said, I know I need to pray, but I just can't seem to bring myself to do it today.
I stopped praying a couple of days ago and even though I know what's going on and what I SHOULD do to turn it around, I am like a deer in headlights with prayer. Stuck. Not moving forward nor retreating... just frozen...except the longer I stay here, the more I become discouraged and the more I become discouraged, the more I start feeling that, "why bother with anything?" feeling. All day I've been feeling like Solomon in Ecclesiastes. I am battling things in my personal life and the world that seem to have no end and it's wearing me down and then the enemy comes along and does what he does best. The # 1 thing he always goes after first is to get me to stop praying. It's a good strategy. It's like removing that key piece in the Jenga tower. If he manages to remove it, the whole thing comes crashing down. I'm definitely teetering. It's a funny thing... fighting prayer. Even now I'm avoiding it. I know I'm in trouble when it begins to feel like dieting and exercise because when I'm seeking Him and my heart and mind are engaged with God, prayer doesn't feel like being denied a donut or doing sit ups. I long to be in His presence and prayer is a natural response to being there. So...yup, time to push through...time to pray even though right now it feels rather unnatural. By the way, I never say, "no" to donuts... like EVER. :D
Wow...one of the phrases I usually use with this is “deer in the headlights” or, more accurately (and you’ll like this one better😂) “mosquito in a nudist colony.” Because, you know...where do you begin? There’s so much need, and the enemy tries to disengage us before we even start. But for me, I’ve noticed it takes just a little effort to get back in the fight. Probably my bigger issue is actually recognizing when I’m disengaging and giving up.
"mosquito in a nudist colony" hahaha right on!