living stones

we are building, not throwing

I grabbed the phone and called one of the state offices we’ve been working with. Someone (several someones, actually) have repeatedly mentioned a miraculously helpful entity called a “care coordinator” to help us navigate part of the guardianship world we’re dealing with now on behalf of two of our kids.

But I didn’t even remember which office they go through, or what number to call. There have been so many phone calls.

So I tried one, and a lady picked up.

“Hi,” I began, “I spoke with someone from your office a few weeks ago about applying for my disabled son’s benefits? He has a medical situation and we’re getting the runaround about Medicaid, and I’m wondering if I could get connected to a care coordinator through your office to help me navigate this, but I’m honestly not even sure if I’m calling the right place. Can you help me?”

Blarghhhhh. I just dumped all the details on her, no mercy.

“Umm…” the lady stammered. “Uh…maybe…I’ve actually only been here for four months. Umm…” She stalled again, and finally settled into awkward silence.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“No, it’s not you, it’s me. I’m just…just trying to–”

“No,” I assured her, “I’m pretty sure it’s definitely me, too.” The confusion is probably contagious.

And it turns out I was wrong; care coordinators are apparently fabulous at helping with one particular area, but not the actual area we need help with right now.

If I understood the process better, I could navigate it with more clarity. As it is, I pretty much only understand enough of it to complain. And there’s been plenty to complain about. I do not work in this system, I am just trying to work my way through it, and so far I have just enough experience to throw stones at it. Mea culpa. I should’ve paid more attention, should’ve taken notes or something, and should be speaking (and writing) blessings instead of curses.

(But this is the government, yo…) I know, it’s pretty hard to bless sometimes.

But I’ve noticed this among the Church, too. We don’t understand things, so we complain. We don’t pay attention, so we misunderstand. We misunderstand, so we accuse. The stones fly furiously, contagiously, and the only thing built up is confusion as the living stones divide, refusing to acknowledge the others in the same building.

As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

– 1 Peter 2:4-5

The internet has always had a mean streak, and Pharisees have always been known as stone-throwers. I’m not saying those two things have anything to do with each other; it might be a completely random coincidence that I put them in the same sentence. Draw your own conclusions.

But over the last two weeks I’ve heard “You need to be more careful” from a total stranger who didn’t like a video I shared, “You should do your homework” from a stranger who hadn’t actually listened to the sermon I shared, and “The word is ‘prating’ not babbling” from a stranger who didn’t like the scripture translation I shared, miffed that I didn’t revert to King James, because that of course is what Jesus Himself used.

In years of writing online, I’ve noticed that normal people generally respond to posts in one of these ways:

• constructive comment

• hit the like button

• simply keep scrolling

But weirdos on social media with a religious spirit tend to respond in these ways:

• Why did you underline THOSE words?

• What do you have against the other verses?

• I don’t like the title of your post and have appointed myself as the religious police to protect any ignorant passersby from misinterpreting scripture and living a life of sin because of it

• I didn’t bother reading/watching/listening to the link in your post, but here’s my redundant/irrelevant/argumentative comment, anyway

• Why are you using a STICKY note as a BOOKMARK?! You are covering the WORD of GOD, heathen!

Smile…sigh.

Why is it that some Christians think their belief entitles them to act so unChristlike to others, especially Christians? Did they miss the part in the Bible about building up one another in love, and taking the log out of your own eye, and the world will know we are Christians by our love for each other, not by the vitriol we unleash on the internet?

I don’t think I’m the only one noticing this spike in the spirit of stupid, because I recently read this post and this thread, and this is a terrific video, also.

I can only imagine how confusing this must be for new Christians trying to navigate the Church. I’m sorry, I’ve actually only been here for four months…umm…

But another thing I’ve noticed is that if I listen – or, not even listen (as in, “actively attend to”) but just hear too much faith-quenching, belittling, nit-picking, stone-throwing, I start to feel stifled. And this surely indicates the enemy at work. So here, to myself and anyone else needing the antidote to the enemy’s venom:

You can hear God’s voice in your life, in your days, and in your situation.

(You can also share what you’ve learned freely, and block the religious meanies on the internet.)

We have to remind ourselves of what is true.

We need to remember that not every thought in our head is our own. Sometimes it’s an accusation the enemy planted through someone else.

We need to keep in mind that people don’t judge us the way we think they might be judging us. And those who are judging us should probably be minding the logs in their own eyes.

And we need to remember that what anyone thinks about us isn’t as important as what God thinks of us.

When we hear the accuser pounding thoughts through our heads, what do we do?

Run back to the truth. Do it fast. Get it in your head and keep it there — pin it on your bathroom mirror and your kitchen cabinets and the dashboard of your car — and make it louder than the harping, and clearer than the smoke and mirrors.

Of this gospel I was made a minister according to the gift of God’s grace, which was given me by the working of his power. To me, though I am the very least of all the saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to bring to light for everyone what is the plan of the mystery hidden for ages in God, who created all things, so that through the church the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places. This was according to the eternal purpose that he has realized in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have boldness and access with confidence through our faith in him.

— Ephesians 3:7-12

There’s a movement out there that wants to pooh-pooh the Spirit’s voice in your life. It’s not from unbelievers, but from believers, and they probably (hopefully) don’t even intend to do it. They have no idea that their fear or legalism or concentrated zeal in their pet subject is quenching the Spirit and leaking onto others. And they don’t mean wrong (oh no, being right is their goal); they seem to think that they’re doing the Church a favor by throwing stones at entire segments of believers who practice things they’re not familiar or comfortable with.

For example, I’ve seen this in criticism about worship being “too emotional” or revival being “about feelings,” as if emotions or feelings immediately invalidated things…which they don’t…because God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit all have emotions.

For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

— Exodus 34:14

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

— Ephesians 4:30

Jesus felt compassion, felt angry, felt sad, and even felt surprised and impressed by someone’s faith.

Other critics (or, many of the same) declare that prophetic words, or personally hearing God’s voice outside of what is expressly written in the pages of Scripture, are suspect. They feel that these challenge the Bible, when in fact, if they read the Bible more thoroughly, they would see that personal words and hearing God’s voice are all throughout it:

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.

— John 10:27

But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

— John 14:26

And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit.

— Mark 13:11

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.

— Acts 1:8

…and on and on and on.

Another common stone thrown is that some expressions of worship or devotion are “disorderly.” This comes back to the scripture that all things should be done in order (which, if you read it, has another topic often taken out of context and grossly abused, to the detriment of the Church) but who gets to define “order?” Does it mean calm, predictable, understandable, and within our comfort zone? We need to be careful here because this is similar to how the Pharisees and others justified their arrest and persecution of the followers of Jesus.

And when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and continued to speak the word of God with boldness.

— Acts 4:31

And all were amazed and perplexed, saying to one another, “What does this mean?” But others mocking said, “They are filled with new wine.”

– Acts 2:12-13

And as they were speaking to the people, the priests and the captain of the temple and the Sadducees came upon them, greatly annoyed because they were teaching the people and proclaiming in Jesus the resurrection from the dead. And they arrested them and put them in custody until the next day, for it was already evening.

– Acts 4:1-3

We don’t see the calm, predictable, understandable, comfortable, pre-scheduled, societally-approved kind of order in Acts. So it makes sense that if that’s how someone defines “order,” they would be very uncomfortable with moves of the Holy Spirit.

And this is where we need to remember that just because something is uncomfortable doesn’t mean it is wrong. Just because we don’t understand something doesn’t mean it’s not true. Just because we aren’t familiar with something doesn’t mean it’s not genuine, because we are not God and He gets to define the terms. We don’t make the rules. We are all learning; we all have different backgrounds, and not one of us here has arrived yet.

The Kingdom is built outside our comfort zone.

Sure, anything can be abused. But when we focus more on the abuse, we tend to disregard the real thing and throw the abundance of good out with the lesser portion that is counterfeit. And scripture has a lesson for us here, too:

The servants of the master of the house came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have weeds?’ 

He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’

So the servants said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ 

But he said, ‘No, lest in gathering the weeds you root up the wheat along with them. Let both grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, “Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.”

– Matthew 13:27-30

This is sort of the Lord’s version of saying, “It will all shake out; let Me deal with it.” He has not anointed any of us as the Church Police to root up the wheat in our zeal. Throwing stones at other believers is not a spiritual gift.

But He has anointed us to other things: We have the Holy Spirit, and the mind of Christ, and every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, and we are seated at the right hand of Christ. We are building up, not tearing others down.

What does all that mean? What does it really look like, here and now?

I’m not completely sure. But let’s not throw stones at each other while we figure it out.