Shannon, there are so many things to say after reading this. Firstly, I'm currently reading Nehemiah after one of our pastors preached a really great message from it. God usually uses messages from Jonah to prompt me to get to work and finish my book, but this time he used Nehemiah.
I love your analogy of the music box. I was in a legalistic church for 20 years after being saved. I also suffered from years of depression after having a miscarriage just after we were married. I was miserable and constantly being told to put a smile on my face, or as our pastor said, "Fake it, until you make it."
When my youngest daughter was 3, I woke up from my depression. I even remember where I was when I came out of it...in the garden. Curiously, it was years later that I realized that I had stopped eating gluten on a low carb diet. My mom was diagnosed with celiac around the same time that my depression began. Here, in Canada they spray grains with roundup just before harvest. It's called dessication and there are several reasons for the practice but it was around that time in the late nineties that the practice started. Little side trail there. Lol
I was in my early 50's when I realized that I'm an introverted extrovert. I have joy but it's more a sense of peace. I need time in my head every day. I look for beauty in creation. I love to take photos and share them with others on social media. I love to garden but I'm not great at it. But my years of child raising were hard. I get the whole busy mom thing. I have 2 older daughters in their 40's. One is a stepdaughter but we've had her since she was 5 so she's a daughter. Then after a bout of infertility, I had 5 children in 7 years-4 boys in a row and ended with a girl. I homeschooled and we lived in the country on 12 acres of woods so it was idyllic for the kids. But it was a constant struggle for me to stay focused. I've had a lot of trials the last few years so I've grown closer to the Lord, but at times I feel like I have to push that drum most days to get the music to play. These days my joy mostly comes from the street. God has given me this intense love for these people. It's truly humbling and heartbreaking and most days I cry a good part of the way home. Not many understand it. My family doesn't really. But all that to say, I really loved your words. They molded something real that I've been feeling lately. Thank you.
I didn't answer the political part in the beginning. Nehemiah answered it for me.
Nehemiah 4:14 ESV
And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.”
Shannon, there are so many things to say after reading this. Firstly, I'm currently reading Nehemiah after one of our pastors preached a really great message from it. God usually uses messages from Jonah to prompt me to get to work and finish my book, but this time he used Nehemiah.
I love your analogy of the music box. I was in a legalistic church for 20 years after being saved. I also suffered from years of depression after having a miscarriage just after we were married. I was miserable and constantly being told to put a smile on my face, or as our pastor said, "Fake it, until you make it."
When my youngest daughter was 3, I woke up from my depression. I even remember where I was when I came out of it...in the garden. Curiously, it was years later that I realized that I had stopped eating gluten on a low carb diet. My mom was diagnosed with celiac around the same time that my depression began. Here, in Canada they spray grains with roundup just before harvest. It's called dessication and there are several reasons for the practice but it was around that time in the late nineties that the practice started. Little side trail there. Lol
I was in my early 50's when I realized that I'm an introverted extrovert. I have joy but it's more a sense of peace. I need time in my head every day. I look for beauty in creation. I love to take photos and share them with others on social media. I love to garden but I'm not great at it. But my years of child raising were hard. I get the whole busy mom thing. I have 2 older daughters in their 40's. One is a stepdaughter but we've had her since she was 5 so she's a daughter. Then after a bout of infertility, I had 5 children in 7 years-4 boys in a row and ended with a girl. I homeschooled and we lived in the country on 12 acres of woods so it was idyllic for the kids. But it was a constant struggle for me to stay focused. I've had a lot of trials the last few years so I've grown closer to the Lord, but at times I feel like I have to push that drum most days to get the music to play. These days my joy mostly comes from the street. God has given me this intense love for these people. It's truly humbling and heartbreaking and most days I cry a good part of the way home. Not many understand it. My family doesn't really. But all that to say, I really loved your words. They molded something real that I've been feeling lately. Thank you.
I didn't answer the political part in the beginning. Nehemiah answered it for me.
Nehemiah 4:14 ESV
And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes.”
So, so well said!!!
Thank you so much!